you know that couple that gets married and then you never see them anymore? you know, you’re friends with them and then they get married and you never see them anymore, don’t talk to them, never hang out, just assume they’re too busy doing married people stuff. yeah, them, the couple you just thought of. getting married doesn’t mean you need to get boring.
so a while ago, i [kyle] was at church sitting backstage doing photo stuff when one of the other guys i work with was so excited to show us his new socks, fast food socks with burgers, fries and drinks all over them, definitely not boring socks. then i thought about him, the person he is; he’s fun, always happy when i see him, easy to talk to, fun to be around, someone you draw energy from because he is always full of it. then i thought about other people i know who wear ‘fun’ socks and the type of person they are; they’re usually fun people. now we’re not trying to say that wearing cool socks automatically makes you a more fun person, but a lot of people who wear these fun socks usually aren’t boring people, either. think about someone who you know you can guarantee always seeing in white socks, or even black. now compare that person to the person you know who always wears fun socks. who is a more fun person to be around? for me it’s definitely the person who wears fun socks. i think the socks that people wear can actually say a lot about them. for example, this guy with the fast food socks, he didn’t care what we thought about his socks, he liked them and had no shame wearing them. he put thought into what socks he wanted to wear, he’s fun and his socks echoed that.
enough about socks, the point of this blog post is that getting married shouldn’t make you boring. don’t forget the things you did when you were dating. one of our wedding gifts was a card with 2 gift cards inside, one to cineplex and one to a restaurant. the card said “we know you wanted gift cards to other places, but in our marriage we have learned that it is important to still date your spouse.” they couldn’t be more right. the couples we know that have become boring couples after marriage seem to spend a lot of time home by themselves. that’s a pretty boring date. sometimes lazy nights are more than okay but not when they’re happening every night. go back to dating, you did things to win your partner over, surprise them, make them laugh, make them smile. why does that have to stop after marriage? just because you’ve finally ‘won’ him or her over? we disagree. it shouldn’t stop there.
this past weekend i surprised sam with a weekend trip to disneyland. we were going down to surprise my mom who was there with my dad for her fiftieth birthday. so friday night i grabbed some minnie ears and had her put them on with her eyes closed and i put the mickey ears on. she opened her eyes and saw me and then took hers off and soon realized she was not going to victoria for the day as i had told her originally, i know i lied but i repented later don’t worry, but that we were going to the ‘happiest place on earth.’ it’s little fun things like these that keep marriage fun and exciting. you don’t have to take your partner to disneyland, but take him or her to dinner as a surprise, cook dinner, do something random, do something fun! stop being boring!
now those are things to do with each other to not be boring, but don’t forget about your friends. you’re gonna need other couples to hang out with and each of you is gonna need your guy and girl friends, too. those are likely the friends that were there before your partner was; don’t abandon them now that you’re married, you still need them. stay loyal to your friends, it’s okay to not spend every night with your spouse and instead go spend a night with some friends without your spouse. it’s healthy. friends are another ear to listen and you need to be one for them, too. other couples need to be a part of your life also; they’re the ones that you can chat with about marriage, work out problems together and get advice on things you’re going through and situations they may have dealt with already. don’t abandon friends for marriage and don’t let your friends do that to you; make the effort to maintain friendships.
and yes, we have started wearing ‘funner’ socks and it is actually fun to wear them!